A businessman calls his secretary:
"Lena, how many zeros are there in one million?"
"Six."
He hangs up and says to his partner, "You see? Six zeros in one million. So in two million there are twelve!"
Two NRs meet, and one asks:
- Hey, Vasya, where did you get your nice tie?
- At the Valentino store. Cost me $2000.
- Phew, - the other one says with contempt, - I know a place where you can get exactly same tie for $5000!
A New Russian (NR) is stopped by a traffic policeman, who opens his car's trunk and sees a Kalashnikoff automatic rifle there.
- What the hell is that supposed to be? - policeman asks.
- It's a calculator, - replies the NR.
- Gimme a break, - the policeman protests, producing a calculator from his pocket, - Now here's a calculator...
- Different models, - the NR explains. - Yours is for preliminary score, and mine is for final ones.
A New Russian comes from a visit to the States.
- The country is so much like Russia, - he concludes, - You know, their dollars look just like our bucks!..
***
A New Russian tells his friends, that he's gonna try boarding a trolleybus the next day. Everybody is dying from curiosity, and the next day his friends come to his office, to hear about his impressions.
- I didn't make it, - he confesses sadly.
- How come?!
- They do not let people board a trolleybus with their Volvos...
A New Russian's son approaches a gorgeous lady in a lobby of five-star Metropol hotel.
- Mind a stroll? - he volunteers.
- Well, I bet your car ain't a Volvo, - she replies.
- Nope, it is not, - he confides.
- And you do not own even an average size bank, - she continues.
- Nope, - he admits again.
- And you don't have a three-storey house in Old Arbat, - she concludes. He agrees again. - Then get lost, miser!
The lady leaves, and the chap stands in distressed puzzlement.
- I can trade my Saab 900 for a Volvo, - he muses to himself, - and I can split my financial trust into a chain of average-size banks, but I obviously can't talk my father into demolishing the top three floors of our Old Arbat residence...
An New Russian (NR) comes into a car dealership and asks for a silver Mercedes 600SEL. The employee shows him the car, receives the payment and asks with much curiosity:
- Excuse me, sir, but didn't you buy exactly same car three days ago?
- I sure did, - retorts the NR, - But in that one the ashtray is filled up already!!!
One day, a teacher was attempting to teach the names of animals to a class of 5-year-olds. She held up a picture of a deer, and asked one boy, "Billy, what is this animal?". Little Billy looked at the picture with a disheartened look on his face and responded, "I'm sorry Mrs. Smith, I don't know.". The teacher was not one to give up easily, so she then asked Billy, "Well, Billy, what does your Mommy call your Daddy?" Little Billy's face suddenlybrightened up, but then a confused look came over his face, as he asked, "Mrs. Smith, is that really a pig
A truck driver was driving 100 penguins to the New York Zoo when his truck broke down on the freeway. The driver got out of the cab and was looking at the engine when a second truck driver stopped in front of him and asked if he needed any help. The penguins' driver explained that he is taking the penguins to the zoo and asked if the other man would take the penguins there. He agreed. Some hours later, the second truck driver drove past the first one, who was still waiting on the freeway for help to come. The penguins, however, were still on the truck! "I thought I asked you to take those penguins to the zoo," shouted the first driver. The second replied, "I did, but I had some money left, so we're going to the cinema now
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup , the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He told her, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress . If you don't do the following , your husband will surely die...Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant , and make sure he is in a good mood . For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores , as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse . And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim . If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely." On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?" She replied, "You're going to die
One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Mom, how come all of grandma's hairs are white
روش خرید: برای خرید پس از کلیک روی
دکمه زیر و تکمیل فرم سفارش، ابتدا محصول مورد نظر را درب منزل یا
محل کار تحویل بگیرید، سپس وجه کالا و هزینه ارسال را به مامور پست
بپردازید. جهت مشاهده فرم خرید، روی دکمه زیر کلیک کنید.
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